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Dear Compazine and Gelatin,
I love you.
Days one through three were spent at least partially in the hospital. Day four, Thursday, was quiet. I kept ahead of the pain, rested, wrote for a few hours, rested, and napped.
Day five: Friday, aka Crash & Burn day. By mid-morning I was going down hill. There’s only so much you can hide from your spouse. Steve knew when he called that I didn’t feel well. It was noon and I still hadn’t showered. We talked a few minutes, he asked about coming home, and I said it wasn’t necessary. I knew I was busted when he called back five or six minutes after hanging up.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come home? I can send someone to the 2 o’clock meeting.”
“No. I’m ok. You shouldn’t miss more work.” I knew he wasn’t convinced. His job is stressful on good days, and these aren’t good days. I pulled myself up off the couch, took a Compazine (nausea med) and pain med (tastes like what I think rancid cough medicine must taste like), made some Jello, cleaned the kitchen and got in the shower. There dammit, I’m fine. I texted Steve to tell him all of this, assured him I was fine and curled up on the couch for a nap. Just an hour of sleep, that’s all I needed to feel better now. Or so I thought.
Steve woke me at 4 pm. When he got home at 6:30 pm I was still asleep. I woke up enough to see the long stemmed roses he brought me and went right back to sleep. I woke again at 1:50 this morning, took another dose of pain med, and went to bed. I slept 12+ hours. I should be walking daily but didn’t Thursday.
Along with feeling physically ill, I feel useless. We had a nor’easter that dumped six or eight inches of snow on us. I can’t shovel. I can’t walk to the hen house because the snow is crusty. Steve slips and breaks through and so would I. I can’t bring water to the poultry and collect eggs. Steve has to do it before and after work. In case the nor’easter on Thursday/Friday wasn’t enough, the Saturday/Sunday blizzard has started. It will dump 14 to 22 inches of snow that I can’t shovel. We’ve hired a neighbor to plow the driveway. Steve will have two high tunnels to clean off and will make paths to the hen house, barn and tunnels. Two tunnels is a full day’s work after a blizzard.
I feel better today. The body heals while sleeping. I’m going to be snowed in for a while so Steve asked if was up to a ride this morning. I took a dose of pain med and away we went. It was good to get out for a couple of hours. I made a small pot of fish chowder (I miss cooking.) so I could use the milk toward my protein requirement for the day. I’ve been in the rocking chair or on the couch since then. I’m not nauseated like yesterday but I’m not feeling good today either. It’s only day six. No walking today.
I discovered a new bruise with a rough line in the center while showering yesterday. I counted my incisions – five – not counting this ugly bruise. hmm… It wasn’t an incision. I toweled off and carefully stepped out of the shower. Aha. The rough line is glue from a heart monitor patch. The bruise must have happened when it was removed. I remember it hurting a little when the nurse removed it but I was on pain meds so it wasn’t too bad.
Three incisions itch. The largest one is a little sore, and it feels like something is stuck in my ribs. I can’t get comfortable. I move from couch to chair to couch. Shift, move, bend, lean. It’s there no matter what I do. It’s not a sharp pain, it’s just…there. It’s a bit of inflammation in the area where the part of my stomach that was removed was removed. It’s nothing to be concerned about; it’s all part of the healing process after this kind of trauma.
I have three containers of protein powder. Unjury agrees with me, the other two do not. They’re too thick. If I let them sit they congeal. If I don’t let them sit they taste chalky. They feel like a rock sitting in my little three ounce stomach. I’m ordering more Unjury and avoiding the other brand. I did get all of my protein in today thanks to the broth from the fish chowder.
One of the drawbacks of not saying “I don’t feel great yet” is that people can forget you’re not 100%. Expectations rise to normal quickly. I’ve said “give me a few more days” a few times today. Major surgery. Physical trauma. Lack of nourishment. 600 calories a day. I need a few more days.
The consolation prize after having a really lousy day and being uncomfortable – I’ve lost five pounds. Back to walking tomorrow.